Justin may have brought sexy back, but I’m on a mission to bring femininity back.
So many women in our culture have given up on femininity.
In trying to be equal to men and be out in the workforce and get respect, we’ve become way too masculine in our behaviors, dress and demeanor, or we go the other way and try to be too sexy.
When I visited Washington D.C., all the women were wearing navy or gray pant suits, almost like it was a uniform in the city. They looked like they had been stripped of their very soul. I stood out in a pink dress suit and was told by several men that I met that I reminded them of Jacqueline Kennedy, who many years ago brought a breath of fresh air to Washington D.C.
Here is the problem with women being too masculine in any area…it’s not attractive to a man. Tony Robbins teaches about sexual polarity, in that you need both masculine energy and feminine energy in a relationship in order to maintain sexual attraction between partners.
Many years ago I felt like I had a revelation about femininity versus sexy and that sexy was more of a counterfeit of true femininity. But that as a nation, we had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Men are visual and we believe that we need to be “sexy” to attract them or masculine to compete with them.
In reality, we just need to be women, in all the grace and beauty that God gave us.
Sometimes we are lazy…I know that when we’re a mom of young children, we often don’t even take time to shower because we’re pulled in so many directions. You might just throw on yesterday’s sweat pants and jump into your day. But deep down how is your partner going to feel about that? Even if he doesn’t say anything, do you think it makes him feel like you care?
Always remember that men are very visual. They are attracted to what they see. Is what you are offering your man to see attractive?
As I began to grasp the power of that revelation, I went shopping… Doesn’t every woman love that?
I went shopping for dresses, and except for the common “little black dress”, at that time, quite honestly it wasn’t easy to find any pretty, soft, delicate ones.
It was like nobody was making dresses, because nobody was buying them, but you couldn’t buy one because they weren’t making them. Read that one twice and let it sink in. The only places I could find dresses was an the thrift store which was right in my price range anyway.
I made a commitment to myself to wear a dress every single day. It didn’t matter if I was scrubbing the floor or working in the garden or going to church, I was wearing a dress. From that day till this, people stop me and compliment me on what I’m wearing. Women almost as equally as men give me compliments. Just today, I had a man drive past me and give me the thumbs up sign and yell, “Wow, what a dress.” These types of comments are from men who are not trying to pick up on me, they’re only trying to acknowledge that the femininity got their attention.
Of course I run around in heels and fabulous costume jewelry, but that still doesn’t make a woman feminine.
A woman can easily give off masculine energy by being tense, controlling, even too independent. Women that have been single for long periods of time are notorious for this because they have to take care of everything themselves.
I had someone tell me the other day that I didn’t need a man because I’m so successful and accomplished, a business owner and a homeowner.
Au contraire my friend. I may not need one, but I want one. I enjoy sharing my life. I enjoy laughter. I enjoy not having to take out the trash. Life may be more complicated having another person in it, but I look forward to sharing my golden years with the man of my dreams.
Femininity is something delicate that comes from the inside, it’s something soft that says, “I do need a man.”
I realized tonight as I was writing this that I melt into my man now that I’m dating in an exclusive relationship. It’s no secret that I adore him. But even though I’m out there in the business world all day bossing people or making deals, when I see my man…I literally put my arms around him and my head on his shoulder and just melt. I let all of the stress and pressure of the day go, and I just become his.
Friends often comment on how my voice changes when he walks into the room…how I become lighter and even more giggly. And the best part is it’s not something I have to work at, it comes naturally. I took two self-help courses a number of years ago that helped me with this. My mentors were Rori Raye and Patty Contenta.
So whether you have a man, or you’re looking for one, I encourage you to consider how you dress and to consider how you present yourself. Do you need to make some changes?
My Princess Power Program has great tips on how to be lighter, freer, happier, spend less, bring more to the table in a relationship, and love more. You can find the program here, or for a free preview of the content, including how to walk to rev his engine, claim your 7 free video tips below!