Establishing rituals in your relationship or in your family can become beautiful traditions that carry on.
After our first couple of dates where we sat across from each other in a restaurant, my boyfriend and I began to sit next to each other. We just enjoyed it that way.
One day we were in a restaurant and an older man came up to us and begin to praise my boyfriend. I guess because we weren’t wearing wedding rings the man instinctively knew that we were dating, and he praised my boyfriend for sitting next to me. He said that if he wanted to keep me, he needed to continue doing that for the rest of his life.
We have another tradition that I think is not only romantic, but brilliant.
It came about in an unusual way.
We both lost our mothers when we were 12, and neither of us had been raised directly by our parents (we had both been sent to live with relatives–me at age four and a half and him at age five).
I had asked him one day what things he remembered about his mother.
He thought long and hard and then responded that she always prayed before dinner, and that she and his father ate off of one plate with one set of silverware.
We have no idea what their reason for doing this was–it may have been as simple as not having enough plates and silverware because they had many children.
But I thought about it and came back to him the next day with some thoughts.
While I really love God, I was never raised with the habit or tradition of praying before my meal. I know a lot of people do it and a lot of others don’t. But I suggested that we adopt that into our relationship. It’s another level of gratitude and I can see the wisdom of that.
Additionally, whenever he came to my house for dinner, I began to serve him the meal on one plate. Unlike his parents we use two sets of silverware but one knife.
So the tradition has grown into me praying before the meal, and him cutting the food and us feeding each other.
I think it’s romantic but let me assure the deeper wisdom here. Like most of you we lead very busy lives and have many things going on in our brains. It’s a nice way to sit down and focus on each other.
I know that you’ve seen families in a restaurant sitting across from each other and not even talking.
Picture your family, what was your dinner like last night?
I know that when we begin to have children the children need our time and attention, but do you realize that your husband often feels left out?
When the children are grown and gone, it’ll just be the two of you. So having and maintaining a beautiful relationship now will give you a strong foundation to stand on later.
Something as simple is adopting this romantic way of focusing on your husband in between giving the baby bites of food may be a way to strengthen your relationship.
I can tell you that when we’re eating that way in a restaurant people often look at us in envious ways.
When we’re having a dinner party I will admit that it makes some people feel uncomfortable because they don’t understand it.
But when I explain the tradition people are always blown away and seem to have their opinions reversed.
People are different, and your spouse may not be comfortable with something like that, but what traditions or rituals can you add to your relationship to strengthen it?
Can you fall asleep holding hands or each other? Can you go for a walk after dinner?
Let me know in the comment box below some of the traditions that you have or would like to start.