When you’ve lost something, lost someone…when you have had your spirit crushed by a bad relationship, or a failure in life, it becomes easier to be grateful for what and whom you do have.
You may be frustrated trying to sleep next to a snorer, but if you had known the pain of loneliness or betrayal, you may just choose to be grateful that he’s sleeping next to you.
Buy a pair of ear plugs and hug him a little tighter for all the wonderful things he does do for you like going to work every day.
If you can still hear him through the ear plugs, buy a noise cancelling sound machine. I like the one with water or crickets and don’t worry, you will still be able to hear the baby or kids. You’re wired that way.
I’m not talking about settling for crumbs and choosing the wrong person because you don’t want to be lonely. I’m talking about settling down and appreciating the man you have chosen.
It’s too easy to complain, to resent…to tear down your future with your own hands…words…thoughts…attitude.
I dress rocking hot because I live for those moments when someone tells me I look nice. But my man, wonderful though he is, is not wired that way. He’s super humble, and if he’s going to comment on how I look, he’s going to look me up and down, and make a clicking sound. On very rare occasions I might get a “Mmmmm, Mamasita.”
But words clearly are not his love language. I need to receive his love and be affirmed by the acts of service that he constantly pours out for me. And guess what, when I’m grateful for what he does, he wants to do more.
I never have to ask him to take out my trash. He sees it and it’s done. But I always remember to praise him and thank him for taking such good care of me. I do the same for my son who has remembered to put out the bins week after week without being asked.
Now I want to compare and contrast for a moment.
I may not get a standing ovation just because I knocked it out of the ball park with my hair, outfit, make up and high heels, but my ex would have looked me up and down after I proudly walked down the stairs trying to shine for him and would have said, “You have a big pimple on your neck.”
Soul crushing.
I had wanted him to be proud of me.
Either way, I need to get my need for verbal affectation fulfilled by someone else like the lady at the grocery store who noticed my earrings.
Let’s flip this for a moment. Think of something you may have said or done to your man that made him feel unappreciated.
Or, what could you do or say to him, to affirm his efforts?
Our men need us to speak life into them. So do our children. It’s so easy to correct them. But where do we need a course correction to a better future?
I hear so many women tear their husbands down not realizing they are charting a course toward divorce and heartbreak. I encourage you to turn it around while you can, because the alternatives are not pretty.
What is your primary love language? Does your partner speak it? Tell me in the comment box below.